My Mother in law won't give my child's Dummy up
THE MUM SAYS HER PARTNER AND MOTHER-IN-LAW JUST CAN’T SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS …A concerned mum has taken to parenting forum MUMSNET to ask if she is right to be worried about her eight-year-old son still using a dummy. While he only uses the dummy at bedtime, his mum says that she feels it could affect his physical and emotional development.
What happens when one parent does not follow through
In her post, the mum said that she has tried multiple times to talk to her partner and mother-in-law about the issue, but feels she has no support. “I think he’s far too old for it, it has had an effect on his teeth causing them to grow in squint. (My partner) however doesn’t find this a big deal and says ‘just let him have it’ ‘it’s not that big a deal’ ‘he’ll lose it in his own time’. Well so far he hasn’t lost it and it’s beginning to get ridiculous.” Despite multiple attempts to limit its use, the mum says that she usually ends up caving, especially when her partner and mother-in-law are so willing to give her son the DUMMY whenever he asks for it.
Other Concerned Parents said this
A shocked commenter on the post said they couldn’t believe that the mum was only becoming concerned now that her son is eight. “It was beginning to get ridiculous 4+ years ago in my opinion,” they wrote. “Throw them away. How utterly embarrassing that your child has been allowed a dummy until 8 YEARS OLD!”
Others were more helpful, offering suggestions that worked for their own children. “What we did was collect them all up and put them under a pillow one night and the ‘dummy fairy’ took them and left a present,” said one helpful parent.
We really feel for this mum, especially as it’s pretty obvious that she’s on her own in trying to help her son get rid of his dummy. While we think every child is different, we completely agree that there comes a point where using a dummy is definitely doing them more harm than good!As the author of the children book “DANIEL AND THE DUMMY FAIRY” written to assist small children to ditch their dummy with less stress, I feel that it’s best to DITCH YOUR CHILDS DUMMY by the age of 3 years.This is backed up by Speech Pathologists, Dentists and Doctors.
Perhaps this Mums partner and MOL are apprehensive as they fear your child will be distressed. She will need to turn the excuses they are using around in order to gain their support. It is as much their addiction as the Childs and their fear is sabotaging this child.The fact that she has tried before and, they have offered the dummy anyway will definitely make it harder going forward. Their own sabotage, which occurred on the first time this Mama tried, may actually cause this child more distress now.
As DR Phil suggests, find their commodity and use it in exchange for their Dummy. It may be that they want to have a sleepover at a friend (which is embarrassing with a Dummy) or simply wish more screen time or a toy or experience like going to the circus in exchange. Every child has their own Commodity. Then throw every single Dummy out. Look high and low…and hope that their teeth made it through the experience unharmed.
Does your child use a dummy?
Are they older than 3 years of age?
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